what do you want to be when you grow up?
when i was younger, i had plenty of answers for this one question. first, i wanted to be a rockstar, then the next day i would say i wanted to be a nun! (i had my elementary education at a catholic school run by salesian sisters, btw… so don’t ask. ) i wanted to be everything i could think of. i guess it’s normal for any kid to have dreams like the ones i had. but as you grow older, you begin to discover your true self and things become clearer… or so i’ve heard…

i see my future as a vague fog of uncertainty, and i’m thinking it’s not a good thing.

i wasn’t always like this you know. on my senior year in high school, for the first time, i had a clear head and i knew exactly what i wanted. but as i’ve learned for the past years, life doesn’t really go as you plan it. there are some things in this world that are just not meant to be. but you’ve got to keep standing tall and just live life fearlessly.

i envy those people who have these big dreams and well thought plans for their future. they probably already knew what they wanted to be ever since they learned how to talk. but as for me? i got nothing!!! i have no idea what i’m gonna do in my life. i’m just trying to make it through the day and not think about the far future. i wouldn’t actually say that i have no direction. it’s just that, i’m perfectly happy with what i have at the moment. i’m grateful that i have an amazing family that loves me and a group of true friends who are always there for me. what more could i ask for?

i’m not really worried about things that i want to achieve. i’m already satisfied with all the wonderful blessings (which i honestly think i do not deserve) that God has given me. i’m more concerned with the mark i’ll leave in this world. (sounds cheezy i know! feel free to throw up… LOL!) but like Jamie Sullivan from the book “A Walk To Remember”, i really hope to inspire people. (if it’s even possible… ‘coz i don’t think i’m inspiring at all!!! i wish! ) what i’m trying to say is that, all i wanna do is find my place in this world. my purpose. what am i suppose to do to make even the slightest change there can be?

i don’t really know what i want… up until now, i’m still trying to get to know myself better. i’m just a regular girl trying to make a difference in the world. (and i hope i can..) in the meantime, i’ll share to you guys this really beautiful song written by taylor swift. it’s called “A Place In This World”.

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