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Filed under: blabs, emo, random — jessa @ 10:25 pm

what do you want to be when you grow up?
when i was younger, i had plenty of answers for this one question. first, i wanted to be a rockstar, then the next day i would say i wanted to be a nun! (i had my elementary education at a catholic school run by salesian sisters, btw… so don’t ask. ) i wanted to be everything i could think of. i guess it’s normal for any kid to have dreams like the ones i had. but as you grow older, you begin to discover your true self and things become clearer… or so i’ve heard…

i see my future as a vague fog of uncertainty, and i’m thinking it’s not a good thing.

i wasn’t always like this you know. on my senior year in high school, for the first time, i had a clear head and i knew exactly what i wanted. but as i’ve learned for the past years, life doesn’t really go as you plan it. there are some things in this world that are just not meant to be. but you’ve got to keep standing tall and just live life fearlessly.

i envy those people who have these big dreams and well thought plans for their future. they probably already knew what they wanted to be ever since they learned how to talk. but as for me? i got nothing!!! i have no idea what i’m gonna do in my life. i’m just trying to make it through the day and not think about the far future. i wouldn’t actually say that i have no direction. it’s just that, i’m perfectly happy with what i have at the moment. i’m grateful that i have an amazing family that loves me and a group of true friends who are always there for me. what more could i ask for?

i’m not really worried about things that i want to achieve. i’m already satisfied with all the wonderful blessings (which i honestly think i do not deserve) that God has given me. i’m more concerned with the mark i’ll leave in this world. (sounds cheezy i know! feel free to throw up… LOL!) but like Jamie Sullivan from the book “A Walk To Remember”, i really hope to inspire people. (if it’s even possible… ‘coz i don’t think i’m inspiring at all!!! i wish! ) what i’m trying to say is that, all i wanna do is find my place in this world. my purpose. what am i suppose to do to make even the slightest change there can be?

i don’t really know what i want… up until now, i’m still trying to get to know myself better. i’m just a regular girl trying to make a difference in the world. (and i hope i can..) in the meantime, i’ll share to you guys this really beautiful song written by taylor swift. it’s called “A Place In This World”.

show lyrics ▼

10 Responses to “a place in this world”

Mikyu Says:
September 21st, 2009 at 12:14 am
aaawww. we already had this talk and you know how much i feel the same way you do, es. it’s just now that my eyes were opened to this sort of stuff. just like you, i had a lot of dreams when i was a kid. there were even outrageous ones! but i realized i can’t fulfill all of them. :| i’m almost 20 years old, and i still don’t have a clear vision of what i will be.. i just hope that before this year ends (as soon as possible), i’ll be able to set a goal for myself already. then i’ll have to work hard for that. i need an inspiration! aw i guess i already have one whom i look up to because of the aura of determination that person exudes. nyahahaha. but really, i need an idol. find me one? XD

BTW, i love that song by taylor swift. it was playing in my head while i was reading your post. i didn’t think you were referring to this song. hehehe. :D

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clarence Says:
September 21st, 2009 at 9:45 am
ganahan lagi ko ani nga emoticon

anyway, maabot da ang panahon nga mahibaw na ka sa imong tumong sa kalibutan.

pwede man pud mamahimo kang rakistang madre?

\m/

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Nagashiko Says:
September 23rd, 2009 at 9:43 am
I’ve had a lot of dreams as well and just like you, I wanted to be a Rockstar… and until now, I wanna be one.

Be anyone you want to be. It’s not yet too late sis. =D

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Kim Says:
September 23rd, 2009 at 11:17 pm
I’m not too sure what I want to be when I grow up, and I honestly never really knew growing up either. Everything I chose was always for fun. I’m just going to uni because I know it’s the right thing right now…

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gail Says:
September 24th, 2009 at 5:42 pm
ahhh, That’s fine ate. You just need time to think think think. Well me, I want to be a dentist.. ;)

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Gel Says:
September 26th, 2009 at 10:52 am
Same here. I’m not too sure as to what career path i’ll be taking when I graduate on March 2010. I’m pretty much going with the flow and at this point i’m just doing what I can in school and hope for the best that I land in a stable job after graduation. I hope to inspire people, too, in my own little way.

BTW I love that movie. A Walk to Remember! :)

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Trish Says:
October 2nd, 2009 at 5:28 am
Yeah, I pretty much have everything planned out…well, at least an outline of how I want things to go, haha. I’ve changed my mind about what I want to be at least 1999234 times, ranging from being a psychiatrist to an architect to an English teacher. One thing I’ve been certain of for a while is that I want to live in Japan after college. Now I plan on being and English teacher at a high school there.

I figure I’ll just go to college for four years and get my teaching license, then maybe teach in the U.S. (where I live) for maybe 2 years to save up some cash to move to Japan. I haven’t planned any further after that. XD

I’m sure you’ll find your “calling” eventually. Maybe try volunteering for things like tutoring or something. You might find something you like to do.

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Mia Says:
October 2nd, 2009 at 9:57 am
I was once like that… I wanted to be everything I could think of when I was younger. But I guess only one thing stayed and that is being a teacher. Right now, I can’t say that I stopped dreaming of what I want to be and how I want to live my life… But I sure do know what I want and should do… I hope you find yours too Ate Jessa. God Bless =)

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McCoolot Says:
October 26th, 2009 at 12:59 pm
“Nobody knows what the future holds for us. But we know who holds the future.” – a simple thought I always keep in my head. Sometimes I ask my self: “where do I go from here?”.. But still, I end up telling my self “let it be…” Some says, we choose our destiny (which I don’t fully agree)… Maybe, just maybe they’re right. But we have to keep in mind, that some things are beyond our control.

Let’s just join the ride and make the most out of it! Keep rockin!

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Aimee Says:
November 6th, 2009 at 12:11 pm
pag-first naku dungog sa song kay wala ko nag-huna2x na ka-taylor na.. hehehe

“I’m just a girl, tryin’ to find a place in this world…” <– Well, i could say this, too, you know.

I have always wanted to inspire people. Pero I don’t know. You can’t please everybody mn gd…

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